All squadrons scramble! Massive amounts of fun detected in this sector!! Bravo Five, you're going in too hot. PULL UP!! *SSSSSSCHRBOOOOOM* God Dammit!!!!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Awesome Gears 3 Trailer
Rapping about video games and death metal? Holy shit, it's true. The 90's are BACK!! Now where did I put my pogs
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Modern Warfare 3 Spec Ops Survival
Wow it looks...a lot like MW 2. Cool I guess? Dogs with bombs, now we're talking. Hopefully in the final release there'll be a killstreak where an AC-130 comes down and shoots dogs at the opposing team. Or perhaps some kind of "Orbital Dog Strike"
Monday, August 8, 2011
Procrastinator's Challenge
Since there isn't much coming out until fall, Jaison and I decided to stop being such lazy puds and actually finish a few of the games we own. Since internet glory and fear of public humiliation are the only things capable of motivating us, The Procrastinator's Challenge was born.
For the challenge Jaison has chosen to finish Halo ODST while I, being twice as awesome, have pledged to finish F.E.A.R 3 and Alan Wake. Games must be completed no later than Sunday August 14th at 12:00 PM. Anyone failing to complete the challenge will receive a public shaming and be forced to play Golf on Virtual Boy for no less than one hour.
If you've got a few games you need to get around to finishing, feel free to join in the challenge and play along at home!
New RAGE Trailer
As Id's new game creeps ever closer to launch, we're learning more and more about the plot. And with each new trailer I grow a little more concerned. I mean, it certainly looks pretty. But that's about it.
I'm sad to say that the story as they have it laid out here does absolutely jack shit for me. Stop me if you've heard this one before. A guy wakes up in a so-called "vault", since he dwells there you could even call him a "vault dweller". He then ventures out into a wasteland and joins up with a rag-tag group of freedom fighters to combat (super) mutants and an oppressive military force trying to rule the wasteland with an iron fist.
Yeah, real fucking creative guys. Total cutting edge stuff here. I love how our two factions are known as "The Authority" and "The Resistance". Because we wouldn't want people getting confused about who is the bad guy here. At least the Enclave in Fallout looked pretty impressive. The authority guys look a lot like the Crimson Lance from Borderlands.
The dialog in the trailer was also pretty cheesy and bad all-around. I mean, "Take him to the kill room"? You guys kill so many people that you need to designate a whole room for it? Maybe you should re-evaluate your business practices. "Excuse me Stu, may I use your kill room?" "Why yes of course, head down the hall and take the first left at the day spa." Also, nice use of the Kyle Scream in the trailer (at 2:30).
On the other hand, maybe I should just shut up. We both know we'll be buying this game anyway.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
The Best Gets Better
Breaking news, if you buy the 3rd Humble Indie Bundle now for more than the average price (Around 5 bucks as I type this) you get all of the games from the 2nd one included free.
This includes Braid, Cortex Command, Machinarium, Osmos and Revenge of the Titans. Braid alone is worth the price of admission if you don't have it. So that makes ELEVEN games for five bucks, with as much of that as you want going to charity. I consider myself pretty jaded by gaming nerd standards, but that is just too fucking cool.
Indie Game Round-Up
With summer bringing a pretty dismal selection of big-name titles, I've taken this opportunity to try out some indie games. With nothing but rehashes and sequels on the horizon, I was hoping something fresh might break me out of this rut and give my sad life purpose again.
Terraria - What minecraft might have been if minecraft was more of a game and less of an OCD simulator. The ease of crafting, better sense of progression and actual fun combat make this an incredibly addictive experience. Rating: A+
Cogs - I've always enjoyed puzzle games but get frustrated with them very easily. I was really impressed by this block sliding puzzler with a twist. Many puzzles take the form of actual clockwork inventions that activate when you complete them. This game definitely goes the extra mile with it's presentation. Rating: 8.5/10
VVVVV - Haha those are supposed to be spikes. I get it, very cute. This is a balls-out-the-ass hard platformer with a truly retro feel. I really dig the presentation, but find myself getting too frustrated with the gameplay. Maybe it's an issue with my setup (With PCs all bets are off), but I don't find the controls responsive enough. When I try to jump for the ceiling there's this tiny delay that causes me to miss way more jumps than I should. In a game where timing is everything, it's a deal-breaker. Rating: Close but no cigar
And Yet it Moves - Or as I like to call it, Motion Sickness: The Game. The world rotates around your guy sort of like Loco Roco, only Loco Roco doesn't make me puke my fucking guts out every five minutes. The platforming itself is pretty good, but not good enough to keep me playing this game. Rating: Two thumbs way covered in vomit.
Crayon Physics Deluxe - Part Scribblenauts and part tech demo, this game is actually quite solid. You really have to think outside the box for some solutions. However, like scribblenauts, one of the downfalls to these sandbox puzzle games is that you always wonder if you cheated by mistake. Rating: Three stars
Capsized - A side-scrolling, physics-based action platformer. Yikes. This game is trying to be a lot of things, and to that end it succeeds and fails in equal measure. First off, Capsized looks great. It's easily worth the price of admission for that. Unfortunately the controls are pretty clunky and over-complicated. The physics based puzzles are are very cool, but occasionally frustrating. It sucks trying to drag a rock when it keeps getting caught on bits of geometry. I wish I could give this game a wholehearted recommendation, but I just can't.
Rating: A half-hearted recommendation
Dishwasher : Vampire Smile - This one was on XBLA and I'll just say it freaking rules. Don't be put off by the silly name and art style that looks like something a greasy goth kid would draw on his binder in social studies. This is one of the best action-platformers to date. Super fast and fluid combat, local and online co-op, tons of weapons and powers. It's visceral, it's gory, and it's only 800 MS points. This is the video game your mom warned you about. If you like your side scrollers hectic and your violence gratuitous then you need to check this one out. Rating: A Gold Star
Well that didn't happen, but I did play some really fun games. Anyway here's what I found.
Terraria - What minecraft might have been if minecraft was more of a game and less of an OCD simulator. The ease of crafting, better sense of progression and actual fun combat make this an incredibly addictive experience. Rating: A+
Cogs - I've always enjoyed puzzle games but get frustrated with them very easily. I was really impressed by this block sliding puzzler with a twist. Many puzzles take the form of actual clockwork inventions that activate when you complete them. This game definitely goes the extra mile with it's presentation. Rating: 8.5/10
VVVVV - Haha those are supposed to be spikes. I get it, very cute. This is a balls-out-the-ass hard platformer with a truly retro feel. I really dig the presentation, but find myself getting too frustrated with the gameplay. Maybe it's an issue with my setup (With PCs all bets are off), but I don't find the controls responsive enough. When I try to jump for the ceiling there's this tiny delay that causes me to miss way more jumps than I should. In a game where timing is everything, it's a deal-breaker. Rating: Close but no cigar
And Yet it Moves - Or as I like to call it, Motion Sickness: The Game. The world rotates around your guy sort of like Loco Roco, only Loco Roco doesn't make me puke my fucking guts out every five minutes. The platforming itself is pretty good, but not good enough to keep me playing this game. Rating: Two thumbs way covered in vomit.
Crayon Physics Deluxe - Part Scribblenauts and part tech demo, this game is actually quite solid. You really have to think outside the box for some solutions. However, like scribblenauts, one of the downfalls to these sandbox puzzle games is that you always wonder if you cheated by mistake. Rating: Three stars
Capsized - A side-scrolling, physics-based action platformer. Yikes. This game is trying to be a lot of things, and to that end it succeeds and fails in equal measure. First off, Capsized looks great. It's easily worth the price of admission for that. Unfortunately the controls are pretty clunky and over-complicated. The physics based puzzles are are very cool, but occasionally frustrating. It sucks trying to drag a rock when it keeps getting caught on bits of geometry. I wish I could give this game a wholehearted recommendation, but I just can't.Rating: A half-hearted recommendation
Dishwasher : Vampire Smile - This one was on XBLA and I'll just say it freaking rules. Don't be put off by the silly name and art style that looks like something a greasy goth kid would draw on his binder in social studies. This is one of the best action-platformers to date. Super fast and fluid combat, local and online co-op, tons of weapons and powers. It's visceral, it's gory, and it's only 800 MS points. This is the video game your mom warned you about. If you like your side scrollers hectic and your violence gratuitous then you need to check this one out. Rating: A Gold Star