HELLO ME NOT DEAD

Hello to all our reader! I just wanted to apologize for the lack of activity around here recently. Last weekend I was in Montreal for a trade show and managed to contract some kind of unholy super-virus, the likes of which you will only find on a Westjet airplane. I've had a bad case of strep throat all week and am basically hating life right now. I'm glad to see Jaison took this opportunity to step up to the plate and deliver JACK SQUAT!

Anyway my conscious hours have been mostly spent playing the vidya, so in no particular order, here are the games I've been playing.

Space Marine - Haven't gotten too far in this one yet. It's really fun though so far. I love how deadly serious, yet incredibly goofy the Warhammer universe is. Something only true nerds could dream up. Combat is incredibly satisfying and makes you want to RIP AND TEAR!!! A fun drinking game would be to take a drink every time someone in the game says "Space marine". You'll be smashed by the end of the intro.

Red Orchestra 2 - This is a game you will HATE the first time you play it. And probably the second time. And maybe even the third time. But the fourth time, oh man when this game finally clicks it is really satisfying. Then you'll get really annoyed again when you get sniped out of nowhere across the map because your fucking idiot team mates don't know how to throw a god damn smoke grenade. As much as I loathe/enjoy this game, I still think it's really buggy and clunky in a way that only indie PC games can be and I don't think it was really worth the $40 I spent on it.

Hard Reset - Loving this one too. It's a great game for 30 bucks and I think a lot of reviewers are being too hard on it for not sucking Call of Duty's dick. The singleplayer is on the short side, but exploring the levels, trying to beat your score and find all the secrets is part of the fun. Combat feels spot on, except for the slow weapon switching which is stupid. But who needs to switch weapons when you've got electric mortars? The combat is challenging which I enjoy, but the game holds your hand way too much when it comes to navigating through the levels.

Ace Combat Assault Horizon Demo - Holy turd nuggets this game is going to be good. This is what the last AC game on xbox 360 should have been. Much less anime and much more Top Gun. It looks fantastic and controls enough like a regular AC game that it's very easy to get the hang of. There is also a chopper flying mission where you have to support troops on the ground. It's very fun, but in typical Ace Combat fashion, it drags on a bit too long and will have you wondering what fucking clown car all these enemies are popping out of.

Well, that's it for now. Let's all take a moment and fly in to the Danger Zone.

Renegade Ops

Out now on PS3, XBLA and soon on Steam! This game looks like a riot. Definitely brings me back to the days of playing Firepower 2000 with my friend on SNES. The story looks so goofy I can't help but laugh. Goddammit good games, why you all gotta come out at once?

Oh For Shit Sake

Hey it's like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, minus anything even remotely good.

Hard Reset - It's Good to be Back

It came as a great surprise to me today when I noticed the demo for Hard Reset was up on steam. The game is due out next week (PC only, sorry guys) and retails for 30 bucks. If the full game can maintain the standard set by the demo, just let me say that is a fucking steal.

There is absolutely no doubt about it. This is a pure old school PC first-person shooter. It's fast, it's crazy and it's pure balls-pressed-firmly-against-the-wall fun. Want to take cover? Too bad you fucking nancy, there is no cover! Want to mash button prompts in a quicktime event? Get out of here you shit! Want to run and jump around like a maniac while crazy robots try to eat your balls for breakfast? Well Mister have I got a game for you!

This is a return to the times when guns were big, movement was fast and carnage was everywhere. Ok so it checks all the right boxes, but does it bring anything new to the table? You better believe it, nephew. One thing you will notice right away about Hard Reset is that enemies are fucking TOUGH. Your guns will plink away at them but you'll quickly get overwhelmed. Unless you use your environment to your advantage. When shot, electrical devices will shoot out lightning that fries the evil robots. Explodey barrels will....well you figure it out.

So you're running around, shooting and dodging but also scanning your environment for anything that can be used against your enemies. It adds another layer of strategy and really makes the game come alive. So a fast, fun and inspired game for 30 bucks. Where is the caveat? It probably looks like ass, right? Wrong again you dweeb! Hard Reset looks awesome. It's got a vibrant colour palette, with enough visual fidelity that it's still easy to tell where things are, even when the action gets intense.

Overall I guess you could say I really enjoyed this demo, and I eagerly await the full version's release. If you own a decent PC that plays games, you should check this one out!

Cool Interview with From Software

As a big fat nerd, I find it incredibly interesting seeing what goes into making my favourite games, and the people who make it all possible. These guys work really hard and love what they are doing. There are plenty of careers where they could be making a lot more money for less effort. It takes a special kind of crazy to want to work in this business.

Annoying Guy Makes Good Points About CoD

As much as this guy's voice makes me want to punch his face, I have to admit that he makes some really good points about the kind of crap that ruins games. If what he says is true (doubtful, but anyway) then MW 3 is going to be a total shit-fest.

Call of Dookie

My apologies for the sudden unexplained abscence, everyone. I have been stranded on the Rock for the past five days. No, not Alcatraz. Newfoundland. A place that is in many ways similar except everyone eats fish and calls you Buddy.

It appears Jaison has also been AWOL, forced to spend his days in exile upon Prince Edward Island. A place not unlike Treasure Island except instead of gold there is a bounty of glorious russet potatoes and miniature golf as far as the eye can see.

Anyway, we're back so let's get down to business. Namely the business of Modern Warfare 3, and how crappy it looks. Let's all eat a nice juicy russet potato and check out these Buddies at Gamespot playing, and generally sucking big fat balls at the multiplayer.

I know that given the massive shitstorm and mass exodus at Infinity Ward, combined with the timeframe they were given there was very little chance of this turning out good. But wow, it looks like a shitty expansion pack for MW 2. DICE is really trying to step up their game with BF 3 and in comparison this is just sad.

I was debating whether to pick this up at launch, but unless I see something really incredible before launch, I think I might be done with CoD for now.