Bark Souls

A Time to Cheat

The other night I reached a point in Dark Souls where it is starting to cost a lot to upgrade my weapons and buy the items I needed. It came to a point where I was just grinding and it was starting to become tiresome. Then by accident I discovered a secret. There is a ledge in a certain spot that if you get a bunch of guys to chase you, then drop down onto it they'll go flying right over the ledge, just like in that game about the lemmings. I think it might have been called, The Lost Vikings.

Anyway I found that doing this earns you a lot of souls very quickly. So I was able to finally upgrade my stuff and life was good. Then I kept doing it and felt like less of a man, because it's so easy that it's pretty much cheating. But the alternative is just grinding the same spots over and over for hours. It's not a challenge, it's just tedium. So I guess my question to you guys is: When do you think it's ok to cheat at a game?

In my opinion, as long as it's a singleplayer game and you're making the game more fun for yourself, then anything goes. If you're doing it online to gain an unfair advantage, then fuck your couch. When a lot of us were younger, the only way to beat some games was with the help of a Game Genie. Not because we sucked or were lazy, but because a lot of game developers genuinely seemed to hate children and wanted them to suffer.

Actually it was mainly because they didn't want people to just rent games; they wanted them to buy them so instead of making games longer, they just made them really fucking hard so you couldn't beat it in a weekend. Maybe part of the reason many games are so piss-easy today is that for most consoles, cheats and cheat devices no longer exist. You're pretty much forced to play the game the way the developer intended, for better or worse.

So instead of making games too easy, so people beat it in a weekend and trade it in, now developers are afraid of making games too hard, that people get frustrated and trade them in. Amazing how we've come full circle.

Battlefield 3 Beta Impressions

So the open beta for BF3 came out a little while ago, and we've both had a chance to log some time on it. With Rage and Dark Souls being released last week I guess we sort of neglected to talk about it. Probably because the beta is a giant turd out of a fat man's butt.

I don't know what else to say, really. Jaison and I both tried it on PC and 360. It's buggy and shows some really dumb design choices. We played a couple rounds together and both of us had our fill. The first map they chose is a small player count rush map with no vehicles. On 360 it runs better, but things are so muddled it's really hard to see your enemy before they blow your brains out. The PC version looks quite a bit nicer, but seems to be more buggy. I constantly get crashes and weird stuff happening.

I don't know about 360, but on PC they just released a new map which is a 64 player conquest map, with vehicles! I can't comment on it though because I can't stay in a fucking match for more than 2 minutes. I am constantly getting kicked or the game crashes or christ knows what else. It's really frustrating and I think it's going to put many people off buying the game.

I know it's a beta, it's old code, it's unfinished, blah blah. But this is what you're choosing to show people and as such, you really should try to put your best foot forward. I am confident the final release will be good; not great, but good. But after playing the beta, it's hard to maintain any enthusiasm for it.

Dark Souls Impressions

Ok, I'll try to keep this brief so I can go back to actually playing the game. First off, the limited edition. It's a piece of shit. Maybe that's a bit harsh but still. You get a cool tin box and a decent artbook. But that's pretty much it. You know the mini guide and soundtrack cd you see in the ads? Well what you actually get is a little card with a code on it to download them off the website. The mini guide is just a few pages cut-and-pasted out of the real strategy guide. It is good info, but a lot of it should be in the damn manual to begin with. Overall I was disappointed with it, but it didn't cost me anything extra so in the end, who cares I guess.

The game itself is good. Damn good. And hard. Damn hard. But I am sure we all knew that already. If you liked Demon Souls you will really enjoy this game. Surprisingly, at first I did not like it very much. The areas they start you out in are kind of lame, and they throw annoying shitty enemies at you right off the bat. Not to mention there is a lot to take in and they explain as much to you as the original Demon Souls; which is, jack shit. So it's very easy to get frustrated and die a lot in cheap, shitty ways that just are not fun at all. I actually had to start over because the class I chose was useless at pretty much everything.

However, once you gain a few levels and get a handle on how things work it becomes a lot more fun. It takes a few hours, but like a crazy ex-girlfriend, once this game gets it's hooks into you it won't let go without a fight. The big change in Dark Souls is that there is no hub area anymore. All the levels are connected, really makes it feel like one huge world. You will open up shortcuts which allow you to get around much easier and bonfires in each area will allow you to regenerate health and level up your stats.

If I have one complaint, it would have to be the story so far. Not that Demon Souls was Shakespeare, but the story really helped to draw you in while remaining fairly unobtrusive. King goes mad with power, wakes up ancient evil and unleashes demons. Your job is to kill demons and defeat the king. Simple but effective. In Dark Souls you play as ah...hmm...an undead guy, whose mission is...umm...to ring some bells...or something? There's a cutscene at the beginning that doesn't really explain anything but shows some cool monsters that you'll no doubt end up having to fight. Occasionally you'll free an NPC that is trapped in a level and they'll spout off some gibberish, but so far there has been nothing to really make me feel like I am on an important quest of awesomeness.

In spite of all that, I am still having a blast. The gameplay is very similar to Demon Souls. There are a lot of ways to exploit the AI and use cheap tactics to kill hard bosses way before you should be able to. Not that it's a bad thing, as it allows pussies like me to actually finish these games. If you're stuck at a certain enemy, you're also free to grind levels until you're strong enough to beat them. And you will have to grind a bit to upgrade your stats and weapons/armor, but this is a Japanese RPG after all. Now if you'll excuse me I've got some grinding to do. Peace!

Rage First Impressions

So with Dan busy getting his ass handed to him in Dark Souls it's up to me to check out Rage; IDs new Shooter/RPG that combines elements of Fallout 3 and Borderlands. Unfortunately they aren't always the best parts of those games.

You play as...ah...hmm...a man, who is on a mission to...ugh...do something, but first he has to stop things...before...or after...no wait. There's nothing here, there's no story. 2hrs into the game all I've gotten so far is the premise of Fallout 3 (minus the nukes) explained to me in an opening cinema and a few missions that wouldn't amount to more than side quests in most games. I understand games usually start you out slowly to get you accustomed to them but they also have some sort of overarching purpose to your actions. A goal or as some nerds like to call it "a main quest". Your purpose is simply to exist, which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing (it is a harsh wasteland after all) except there's no struggle for survival. Instead you're giving this empty void of a character, who doesn't even talk, and the NPCs aren't much better. They merely exist to give you menial tasks and tutorial information. Not to mention the talents of John Goodman are completely wasted.

You may think I'm bitching about this too much, it is a shooter after all, who cares about the story, but I disagree. Sure you don't need a good story to enjoy a game, in fact, despite what you've read so far I am enjoying Rage, but few interesting characters, and I dunno, maybe an actual PLOT, can go a long way. It just feels like a lost opportunity. Especially for a game that's touting itself as part RPG.


That said once you get into the mission areas and start fighting bandits the game gets a lot better. The enemy AI is solid, nothing revolutionary yet, but definitely more engaging than your average shooter. The game also runs extremely smooth and fast, giving it a bit of an old school vibe. A lot like Doom not surprisingly. Unfortunately to get that speed id made some sacrifices with the textures. For the most part it isn't noticeable but once in awhile you'll get too close to an object and it just looks like shit. I took a shot of my screen with my digital camera so you could see what I'm taking about. Luckily the art design helps make up for it. The environments are definitely more interesting then anything fallout or borderlands had to offer.

I think that's supposed to be pavement.

Overall I'm still having a lot of fun with this game. The combat is definitely the highlight so far, and there are some cool weapons, vehicle racing and crafting skills to keep things interesting. I'll post more when I finish the game.

Console Warz

HAHA M I RITE GUYS??

It's Aliiiiiive!

Neat, looks like Uncharted meets Fallout meets The Road. They really missed the boat though in not using Help I'm Alive by Metric in the trailer.