Friday, September 30, 2011

Aegeri For President


User Aegeri on the Penny Arcade forums wrote this post about the Sawed-off shotgun in Gears of War 3 and is much better at articulating why it is such a giant turd of fuck than I am.

"The Gnasher has no advantages vs. the sawn off at point blank. Unless we're talking about someone absolutely completely incompetent, if they get near you then you are dead. It is absolutely that simple with the sawed off. It has a very reasonable "instagib" range and aiming it takes absolutely zero skill whatsoever. You have one shot but frankly, if you miss that one shot with the ridiculous instant kill arc it has you're bad at video games and should feel bad. The only way to counter a sawed off at close range, is to pray they get overexcited and shoot where you were as you've done a roll just before they reached you. Then mow them down trivially: But I have yet to see anyone good who is whoring the sawed off fall for that even once. They will just track you and blind fire you into bloody chunks once you finish rolling.

It turns execution gametypes into an absolute joke and any map that is very tight (like Checkout) turns into endless double barrel shotgun wars in no time. It's literally no fun to play against whatsoever, which is ironic because this is the first of the gears games that has actually made the gnasher fun and reasonable. Then they go and add the fucking sawed off in its current state, so we're right back to gears of war 2 shotgun wars: Despite the improvement to rifles. The amount of skill required to counter the sawed off is far greater than the amount required to actually use the damn thing. It is the very definition of "n00b cannon" and like anything like that it is when you give it to skilled players that it goes into absolutely broken territory."


Thursday, September 29, 2011

Battlefield 3 Beta is Out!


Shit on your nuts if you actually want to play it, though. The servers on xbox are down because of maintenance. I assume PS3 and PC are likely the same story. Guess I'll try the PC beta to confirm. Preparing my bumhole for Origin now.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Gears 3 For Turds


The double barrel shotgun is such a huge piece of shit and if you use this gun I swear to god I will put my fist in a box and mail it to you so when you open it I will punch you right in the god damn face you sped.

Made My Choice


Choosing between picking up RAGE or Dark Souls on release was the toughest decision I have ever faced in my privileged white middle class life. In the end though I finally had to choose Dark Souls. The original Demon's Souls was the greatest game ever made, and if Ghostbusters 2 has taught me anything, it's that sequels are always better than the originals.

Also, if you pre-order Dark Souls you get a free upgrade to the collector's edition. Which is, pardon my french, really frigging cool. So if you're planning on getting it on release day, it's worth going in this week and plunking down the five bucks to reserve a copy. Need motivation? Here, have a new trailer.


All I have to say is

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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Doubts About Battlefield 3

I was awaiting the November release of Battlefield 3 with great anticipation. That is, until user grove 123 posted this comment and sewed the seeds of doubt in my mind.

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But luckily for me, user Tussin came forth and quickly dispelled all of my fears.

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Phew, for a moment there I was worried that the gameplay would really be slower than a retard's thinking ability. False alarm!

Monday, September 26, 2011

RAGE Has John Goodman


How did I not know this?! Well shit, I might have to get this on release after all. Of course it has to launch the same day as Dark Souls. Fuck me, this is just like Sophie's choice.

Saturday, September 24, 2011